tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post7736271873110646982..comments2023-03-24T11:47:29.366+00:00Comments on when you ARE that woman: Bad birthsLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05319479661111193584noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post-58437019277578269602011-08-26T09:35:14.689+01:002011-08-26T09:35:14.689+01:00I still can't hear a conversation about birth ...I still can't hear a conversation about birth without my stomach tying up in knots and feelings if sickening anxiety and sadness and anger. I too feel a schmuck for feeling this way. I sincerely think all women should be offered a chance to talk through their birth after the event. So many people suffer a fallout that I think could be eased by a mere hour with a sympathetic ear <br /><br />You are entitled to ur feelings, I'll try to allow me mine <br />m2m xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post-45649858950808998892011-08-18T10:57:20.255+01:002011-08-18T10:57:20.255+01:00Shit, Catherine. Thank you for such a thought prov...Shit, Catherine. Thank you for such a thought provoking and beautiful reply, but what a terrible thing to have happened to all of you. I really am so sorry. It is heartbreaking to read about your daughter. Truly heartbreaking.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319479661111193584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post-35925613734426028392011-08-17T23:02:35.938+01:002011-08-17T23:02:35.938+01:00My first experience of child birth was the prematu...My first experience of child birth was the premature delivery of my twins. One of my daughters died shortly after birth and I feel the truth of <i>so long as mother and baby are alive and undamaged, it can be counted as a great success</i> deep within the marrow of my bones. Because I would have done anything, including eating my own face, for both my daughters to have survived the experience of being born. <br /><br />But birth is not as simple a beastie as that. Births can be a success, writ large, in that mother and baby are alive and healthy but that doesn't mean that there isn't any fallout. Speaking as one on the 'other side of the fence' as it were, please don't hate yourself or feel that you are whining. You truly aren't. <br /><br />I had another baby, a single boy, and everything was absolutely fine. It was scary and kind of ouchy but he was fine and I was fine. Because of my previous experience all that I was really interested was ALIVE. And he was. But that positive experience didn't take away the deep sadness, guilt and envy I felt (and still feel) over the birth of the twins or my sadness over the lack of joy that I felt during my pregnancy with my boy. All I felt was fear. I really identify with your final paragraph.<br /><br />As the previous poster has said, I know that you haven't asked for advice and I hope I am not over stepping the mark here. I also agree that fighting againt emotions you feel you have no 'right' to often only complicates matters.Catherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post-42627996786375001942011-08-17T16:36:27.352+01:002011-08-17T16:36:27.352+01:00Thank you!
My doula, who blogs at doula-lly.blogs...Thank you!<br /><br />My doula, who blogs at doula-lly.blogspot.com/ was a godsend. In fact, I wrote a post about her http://whenyouarethatwoman.blogspot.com/2011/02/into-your-arms-oh-lord.html<br /><br />What she provided for me was a safety net of calm and kindness and a voice, for a time (labour) when it was important for that voice to be clear and firm and listened to. I would do that again without hesitation. There is nothing silly at all about making sure you, your birth partner and those who treat you have the best possible chance of a straightforward and productive relationship.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319479661111193584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-689941570590851112.post-61697483230434225022011-08-17T15:58:08.278+01:002011-08-17T15:58:08.278+01:00I realise you haven't asked for advice, but I ...I realise you haven't asked for advice, but I think it's worse to leave posts like this without comment. <br /><br />I don't think you have to feel guilty about how you're feeling. It may not be healthy to give into your emotions, but you still have every right to feel them. Fighting against emotions because you don't feel they are 'right' often gives them more power.<br /><br />I've not yet had a baby, but I've had many bad experiences in hospitals. I'm terrified that giving birth will turn into another of those experiences. I've considered a doula (assuming I get pregnant), but they're so expensive I worry that I'm just being silly.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01265501278858518472noreply@blogger.com